Grief is not a sign of weakness -- it's the price of love.

One of only 2 photos of my 2 children.

13 years is such a long time and in other moments it feels like a heartbeat ago. At this time 13 years ago I was becoming inpatient to get down to you. I was waiting on the nurse to remove my drain and your Dad to get there and help me shower. All night every nurse who came into my room had rung down to ask about you and everytime the answer was that you were doing amazingly well. You even had your oxygen down to room air levels and coped just fine. When we did get to you I was delighted in your activity, your kick kick kicking, you sticking your tongue out and blowing bubbles. Some sense made me aware that your nurse seemed a little concerned. I did ask her and she said you had dropped your stats a bit and she had called the Doctor. She then told us that this was to be expected though, that you were probably getting a little tired. I still never thought that those first signs would be our warning that you would be taken from us. The rest of the day is not something I can easily type about or even think about. All I hope you know is that you were so very loved and that your Dad and I did all we could possibly do to ensure that what was best for you was the priority.

The pain truly hasn't changed and I ache as much for you today as I did 5 years ago, 10 yeas ago and even 13 years ago.  Everyday life is much easier but the hole in my heart, the piece of me that is missing they are forever. I love you baby girl xxx